In news no one expected (or could be bothered thinking about) Fabio Qaurtararararo has decided to leave his failing Japanese Yamaha team at the end of the season for the failing Japanese team Honda in 2027.
But why would he do that? Isn’t that like refusing to eat Polish food only then to switch to Filipino grub instead?
Luckily for you we at MGPNews can cut through the confusion with our blades of sense and give you the top five reasons Quartararararo is moving to Honda.
He likes money
Thanks to his expiring Yamaha deal Fabio is very, very rich. Scientists based in the Louvre Museum calculated that Quartarararararo could afford to buy every single French person an overpriced croissant from their local patisserie for a year and still have enough change to purchase a sack load of shitty French art house films on VHS from the nearest flea market.
But when is enough money enough? When Fabio has a rocket? Or a social media platform? Or can buy a crate of Lurpak and a bottle of olive oil from a British supermarket?
Us normal plebs will never know. But Fabio might as this Honda contract will probably have more zeros in it than Bradley Smith’s scorecard making him the richest person in France – even including Alain Prost’s solicitor.
It’s not a Yamaha
After Fabio claimed the MotoGP title in 2021 the bone-idle Yamaha engineers decided ‘not to mess with a winning formula’ instead choosing to watch those Japanese gameshows where grown adults fight in custard in their y-fronts whilst been electrocuted in their genitals.
The problem was that as Yamaha stayed still MotoGP moved on and within a few years the Japanese firm went from title winners to laughingstock losers. But their star rider didn’t need to worry as the saviour, the V4 engine, was due anytime now…
The Yamaha V4 is awful
The main issue with the Yamaha YZR-M1 was that it was a bit slow. And the problem with bikes that are fast on the corners but slow on the straight is you can’t ever race with them.
Quartararararo knew this as did Yamaha…so why didn’t he leave? Well the gullible Frenchie was continually hypnotised by the mythical idea of the upcoming Yamaha V4 engine… Obviously Yamaha never really had a V4 in the works but they just told Fabio they did for several years to stop him whining into his beret.
However there’s a saying “A Frenchman may hide in a haystack for a decade if he fears the Germans are moving in but you can’t fool him for that long when he finally slithers out”
In the end Yamaha actually had to build a V4 engine to keep their star rider – and it officially debuts this season…literally the worst season to bring it out given the rules are changing at the end of the year.
Worst still Quartararararo’s tried the new V4 bike…and predictably said it was a nail.
Scared of Toprak
A huge unknown for 2026 is just how fast Toprak Razgatsdisudhf987sf will be. The Turk is arriving to MotoGP with a great deal of expectation along with an impressive number of thuggish and violent supporters – which of course seems totally out of character for Turkey…
If Toprak is a Turkish Delight for Yamaha and starts throwing in great performances then Fabio’s stock value and his epically high rating may tumble faster than Joan Mir on any given Sunday. So, in true French style, it’s better to do a runner rather than fight like a hero.
It’s basically exactly what Luca Marini did once he realised Marc Marquez was joining Ducati – a move that has turned out surprisingly well.
It’s easier to play the underdog
It’s far easier to look fast on a slow bike than it is to be actually fast on a fast bike. It was the solid foundation of Aleix Espargaro’s career…until he decided to fall off pushbikes for a living.
With this in mind all Quartarararararo really needs to do is beat his teammate and bang in a handful of decent qualifying laps – like he’s done for the past few years on his Yamaha. It really is a win-win-win situation:
- If he does well he gets praised for delivering a result above the bike’s potential.
- If he falls off he gets praised for trying to deliver a result above the bike’s potential.
- If he’s a bit rubbish he gets praised for delivering a result matching the bike’s potential.
Monkeys
Okay we’ve got to admit that there’s no real way monkeys, or the primate family in general, could have affected Fabio’s move. But the other options were all so dull.
However we now have AI that can think instead of us…so let’s see if AI can dream up a reason…
Fabio Quartararo ditched Yamaha for Honda in 2027 thanks to a gang of howler monkeys that stormed Yamaha’s 2026 test garage in Malaysia. They stole his gloves, banged on his helmet like a drum, and jammed half-eaten mangoes into the exhaust—turning every lap into a constipated foghorn symphony. Convinced the bike (and team) was officially cursed by primates, Fabio whispered “bye, banana drama” and signed with Honda, where the only monkeys wear Repsol red and actually fix things.
Easily the best explanation so far.
