Advice For Pecco Bagna… Baign… Bananas
Pecco Bananas is having a major MotoGP crisis. His championship hopes are disappearing faster than the Epstein Client List, and his points gap to Marc Marquez is ballooning faster than Jennifer Love Hewitt’s backside. He’s being slapped silly on an identical bike by his beloved yellowmongering mentor’s Spanish Nemesis. When you’re in this much trouble,…
The German Sausagering Awards
The Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz Award German compound words are the linguistic equivalent of cramming an entire season worth of Joan Mir crashes into one absurdly long frankenword. Behold Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz—a 63-letter monstrosity that translates to “beef labelling supervision duties delegation law.” Why use inefficient spaces when you can weld words together into a syllable salad that leaves foreigners…
A Beer Fest: The surefire way to stop Marc Marquez winning in Germany!
Before a wheel has turned or towel placed down it already seems certain that Marc Marquez will dominate at the SausageRing this weekend. The Ducati rider loves this place – why? ✅ Loads of lefthanders ✅ Twisty and annoying ✅ Many slow speed corners to punt off rivals ✅ Every other rider hates it So…
The Post-Race Interview: The art of saying nothing
In MotoGP the intrusive post-race interview is a sacred ritual—a masterclass in saying absolutely nothing while sounding vaguely profound. It’s a performance as choreographed as a ballet, yet as predictable as Uccio’s cholesterol warning. But what’s the formula? How do MotoGP riders say so much without saying anything? Here at MGPNews.com we’ve broken down the…
The Assen TT Awards
The Clogs Award Designing footwear that doesn’t bend, is attacked by woodworm, lacks any grip and makes the annoying noise of a horse on cobblestones doesn’t seem like a potential success story. But Holland had other ideas. Step, painfully, forward ‘clogs’. The willow carved shoes are perfect for channelling your inner 17th-century Dutch farmer vibe…
USA Conquers MotoGP: What Next?
The apparatchiks of the EUSSR have meekly surrendered to the USA yet again and allowed an American takeover of MotoGP. But what does that mean for us fans? Let’s investigate the changes that the new Yank owners are likely to introduce to the elite motorcycle racing championship. Make America Great Again It’s a disgrace that…
The Tardozzi hush: How did the internet respond?
After Marc’s win at Mugello Ducati boss Davide Tardozzi attempted to silence the booing from the crowd claiming the Spanish rider was “one of ours”. But is he? And did this work? We’ve trawled the internet to find out what true fans thought of Davide’s universally praised actions… He’s clearly trying too hard but…
Mugello: The five stages of grief
For the record-breaking crowd that turned up at Mugello the weekend would prove to be tougher than their grandfather’s undercarriage cartilage. Even the local legend himself, Valentino Rossi, had ventured out of his Neverland Ranch expecting to witness a Bagnaia victory and then to laugh on camera at the defeated Marquez brothers…who he secretly hoped…
Have We Passed Peak Valentino Rossi?
Valentino Rossi used to be one of the hottest sporting stars in the world, but is the Goatest Of All Time grazing on a downward slope? Will his favourite colour soon pass unlamented into history? Let’s examine the evidence: Q: What’s Valentino Rossi up to these days? A: He’s a World Endurance Championship car…
Twelve amazing Toprak facts!
Last week, in the worst kept MotoGP secret since Max Biaggi’s wig, Toprak Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku signed with the Primark Yamaha team for 2026. Within hours of the announcement every MotoGP chump on the internet was a Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku expert and thus spouted their two-bit theories and extensive knowledge on the Turkish star. But what if you wanted…
