Advice For Pecco Bagna… Baign… Bananas

Pecco Bananas is having a major MotoGP crisis. His championship hopes are disappearing faster than the Epstein Client List, and his points gap to Marc Marquez is ballooning faster than Jennifer Love Hewitt’s backside. He’s being slapped silly on an identical bike by his beloved yellowmongering mentor’s Spanish Nemesis. When you’re in this much trouble,…

Read More

The German Sausagering Awards

The Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz Award German compound words are the linguistic equivalent of cramming an entire season worth of Joan Mir crashes into one absurdly long frankenword. Behold Rindfleischetikettierungsüberwachungsaufgabenübertragungsgesetz—a 63-letter monstrosity that translates to “beef labelling supervision duties delegation law.”  Why use inefficient spaces when you can weld words together into a syllable salad that leaves foreigners…

Read More

The Assen TT Awards

The Clogs Award Designing footwear that doesn’t bend, is attacked by woodworm, lacks any grip and makes the annoying noise of a horse on cobblestones doesn’t seem like a potential success story.  But Holland had other ideas.  Step, painfully, forward ‘clogs’. The willow carved shoes are perfect for channelling your inner 17th-century Dutch farmer vibe…

Read More

USA Conquers MotoGP: What Next?

The apparatchiks of the EUSSR have meekly surrendered to the USA yet again and allowed an American takeover of MotoGP. But what does that mean for us fans? Let’s investigate the changes that the new Yank owners are likely to introduce to the elite motorcycle racing championship. Make America Great Again It’s a disgrace that…

Read More

Mugello: The five stages of grief

For the record-breaking crowd that turned up at Mugello the weekend would prove to be tougher than their grandfather’s undercarriage cartilage.  Even the local legend himself, Valentino Rossi, had ventured out of his Neverland Ranch expecting to witness a Bagnaia victory and then to laugh on camera at the defeated Marquez brothers…who he secretly hoped…

Read More

Have We Passed Peak Valentino Rossi?

Valentino Rossi used to be one of the hottest sporting stars in the world, but is the Goatest Of All Time grazing on a downward slope? Will his favourite colour soon pass unlamented into history? Let’s examine the evidence:   Q: What’s Valentino Rossi up to these days? A: He’s a World Endurance Championship car…

Read More

Twelve amazing Toprak facts!

Last week, in the worst kept MotoGP secret since Max Biaggi’s wig, Toprak Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku signed with the Primark Yamaha team for 2026.  Within hours of the announcement every MotoGP chump on the internet was a Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku expert and thus spouted their two-bit theories and extensive knowledge on the Turkish star. But what if you wanted…

Read More
Back To Top