“The most important rider to beat is your teammate” – Bradley Smith’s teammate
With the 2025 MotoGP season already halfway completed it’s time to deliver our customary, one-time-only review to find out which rider from each team has been embarrassed by their teammate.
The winner is literally the loser.
Ducati Team
F.Bagnaia vs M.Marquez
Winner: Pecco Bagnaia
This season’s biggest MotoGP victim is, sadly, the rapidly aging Pecco Bagnaia and his vastly diminishing championship credentials. In half a season the Spanish Antichrist Marc Marquez has ruthlessly destroyed Bagnaia on the track and his legacy off the track leaving the beard-shod Italian fumbling around for excuses.
Embarrassment Rating: 
Gresini Racing
A.Marquez vs F.Aldeguer
Winner: Fermín Aldeguer
Both Gresini riders have spectacularly over-achieved whilst smashing up plenty of scenery and other riders with their Milka-coloured bikes.
Despite having a name that I always have to look up because I can’t spell it Aldeguer just manages to win thanks to his teammate sitting impressively in second position in the championship.
Embarrassment Rating:
Team VR46
F.Di Giannantonio vs F.Morbidell
Winner: Franky Morbidelli
Neither VR46 Neverland rider have overperformed so far this season. DiGi has had moments of brilliance coupled with enough subpar performances to leave poor Uccio comfort eating trays of lasagna.
Morbidelli has been very similar however the care-free Italian wins this battle by also being just as dangerous, just as stupid and just as penalised as ever. He never learns.
Embarrassment Rating:
Red Bull KTM Factory Racing
P.Acosta vs B.Binder
Winner: Brad Binder
A couple of years ago, before the stoat alternating gaited his way to KTM, Brad Binder was the man. The South Africans were heavily polluting the internet claiming Brad would be a ten million times world champion if he were on a Ducati and how it was unfair that the bestestestest rider in the history of our planet was stuck on a KTM. But then Acosta came along…
Suddenly the South Africans were quiet – choosing to shoot giraffes or looting TVs instead of commenting. Why? Because the young Spanish stoat found beating Binder fairly easy.
2025, and a promotion to the factory team for Pedro, has seen the gap widen with ‘yesterday-man’ Binder stuck in 12th place whilst his teammate is 7th with almost double the points.
Embarrassment Rating:
Aprilia Racing Team
M.Bezzecchi vs J.Martin
Winner: Jorge Martin
Jorge’s first half-season with his new team is a fine example of how not to conduct yourself: fall off a lot in testing, blame the tyres, then blame the bike, try to leave, get threatened, realise you have no better options, crawl back claiming you always wanted to stay.
Meanwhile Bezzecchi, post mullet, has been absolutely flying! Aprilia’s ‘let’s keep him for a year and then see if we can get anyone better’ rider has notched up a race win and three podiums so far for the team leaving him in a noodle scratchingly impressive 4th place in the championship.
Embarrassment Rating:
Yamaha Factory Racing
F.Quartarararo vs A.Rins
Winner: Alex Rins
Apparently Rins still rides in MotoGP. Not that I’ve seen him this season – but Wikipedia says he does.
Whilst Fabio has been pushing the Yamaha to its absolute max Rins has been…doing something else?
Embarrassment Rating:
Tech 3
E.Bastianini vs M.Vinales
Winner: Enea Bastianini
It’s taken the laziest rider on the grid twelve races to start trying – possibly knowing that the contract talks start over the summer break.
For the first eleven races Bastianini tried nothing and was all out of ideas.
Embarrassment Rating:
Trackhouse Racing Team
R.Fernandez vs A.Ogura
Winner: Ai Ogura
The absolute perfect Tortoise and the Hare scenario.
Ogura burst onto the scene in his first ever MotoGP race pushing for a podium. Everyone was hailing the Japanese rider as the greatest thing since MSG and leaving his teammate, poor Resting Bitch Face Raul (RBFR), dejected in the corner like a Sydney Sweeney poster at a ‘fat feminist liberals’ convention.
But then Ogura started to crash. And with each crash his confidence dropped causing him to crash even more – suddenly Ai was Windows ME.
Meanwhile RBFR had been quietly getting on with his job without much drama…and come halfway the Spaniard has easily jumped his overrated teammate. Something for Fernandez to smile about? Let’s not get carried away.
Embarrassment Rating:
Team LCR
J.Zarco vs S.Chantra
Winner: Somkiat Chantra
Somkiat Chantra deserves to be in MotoGP in the same way my ex-wife deserves to be in the ‘rational argument’ club. The poor Thai rider would probably still be here if his teammate were semi-trained primate pushing a wheelbarrow around the track packed full of used knee-cartilage.
Zarco meanwhile must be laughing hysterically from under his beret knowing that beating his teammate is an easier task than playing ‘name that pastry’.
Embarrassment Rating:
Honda HRC
L.Marini vs J.Mir
Winner: Joan Mir
Mir has had about a million crashes this season. We tried to work out the exact number but MGPN’s super-computer had an integer-overflow error. A few hundred thousand of these crashes probably weren’t Joan’s fault…but the rest probably were.
Meanwhile the spaghetti armed Marini has yet to crash in MotoGP – which probably means he’s not trying hard enough but also means he’s scoring points.
Marini’s impressive comeback ride after his Suzuka test crash was enough to give the nepo-friendly Italian the edge over Mir – despite the Spaniard’s attractive mother/manager.
Embarrassment Rating:
Pramac Racing
M.Oliveira vs J.Miller
Winner: Miguel Oliveira
Oliveira is the unluckiest rider alive. Whether it’s a curse from a previous life or a side effect of marrying his own sister Miguel can’t catch a break…but can usually catch an out-of-control bike.
Miller meanwhile has been doing what Miller does best – riding as fast as possible without thinking. Jack doesn’t just ‘take his brain out’ when riding – he’s never had one in. It’s like looking under the bonnet of a VW Beetle.
The outcome is that the inbreeding-champ Miguel has been nowhere all season whereas Miller seems to have been everywhere.
Embarrassment Rating:
