Last week, in the worst kept MotoGP secret since Max Biaggi’s wig, Toprak Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku signed with the Primark Yamaha team for 2026. Within hours of the announcement every MotoGP chump on the internet was a Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku expert and thus spouted their two-bit theories and extensive knowledge on the Turkish star.
But what if you wanted to rise above the blockheads with some actual superior Toprak titbits? Well then we at MGPNews have you more than covered with our ‘BBC Verified’ top ten Toprak Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku facts!
Toprak was named after his father’s favourite roofbars that he bought for his Oyak-Renault 12 at the Istanbul branch of Halfords.
Earlier in the year Toprak’s manager, Kenan Sofuoglu, stated “we will only join a factory MotoGP team.” Sofuoglu was true to his word like all Turks by completing a deal with the satellite Yamaha team.
When Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku moves to MotoGP he’ll not be as lonely as a Turk with just one wife as he’ll have his friend and slightly overrated countryman Deniz Oncu to talk kababs with. Deniz, along with his vast array of motorcycle racing family members that range from lunatic to terrible, often train together in their sand swept homeland. After a long session of training on the track the group will often finish off with a race down to the local bazaar to see who can buy the best knocked off handbag before the authorities move in for their usual late afternoon bribes.
Turkey hates Greece and the two neighbouring countries are always getting into mischievous scuffles known as ‘the Aegean dispute’. The origins of this Mediterranean melee are thought to originate from thousands of years ago when the crafty Greeks stole the recipe for Feta cheese which they then made from all the local Minotaurs wandering around. Greek claimed they invented the suspiciously salty cheese and even got the bureaucratic warlords at the EU involved to seal the deal. The lack of cheese left the disgruntled Turks cheesed off with just some rubbish sweets that taste like flowers to fall back on.
Chickens are like turkeys only smaller and fractionally less stupid – a bit like the dynamics of the Mexicans and Argentineans. Despite this Turkey’s favourite meat is neither turkey or chicken – but lamb! You couldn’t make it up!
When Toprak retires it’s expected that he’ll join the family business of suspiciously profitable UK high street barber shops.
Or a vape shop.
Turkey has unique honour of having the only race track that Hermann ‘Helmut’ Tilke ever designed that isn’t totally appalling. Indeed Istanbul Park was such a brilliant racetrack that it inadvertently caused several F1 races, that were run from 2005 to 2011, to be ‘quite interesting’. Eventually the FIM removed the circuit deeming it ‘too dangerous’ – not for the drivers but for the confused and scared F1 fans who were falling off balconies in a disoriented daze.
Should Toprak not be terrible at MotoGP then there’s every chance the MotoGP calendar may return to Istanbul Park having raced there previously for just three seasons. The kebab friendly circuit was dropped in 2007 because then F1 boss Bernie Ecclestone (who looks like the father of someone I don’t like) bought it and decided to hike up the costs in an attempt to pay for his daughter’s new bathroom.
Turkish Delight isn’t actually a delight…and it’s probably not even Turkish. Culinary scientists predict that the repulsive confectionery needs to be mixed one part to 20 parts chocolate to make it even remotely palatable. And not that rubbish chocolate that Jonny Foreigner tries to palm us off with.
That said this advert is superb as it provides an accurate depiction of how Turkey is.
Turkey is a popular summer holiday destination with its long hot summers, sandy beaches and ‘probably alright’ human rights records – as long as you’re not a woman.
