It’s not escaped anyone that Pecco Bagnaia seems to be getting worse. At the beginning of the season the beard-shod Italian could usually salvage in a podium finish behind either of the Marquez antichrist brothers that hadn’t fallen off.
But not now. Now Baggers can’t even manage to scrape through into Q2 and can usually be seen somewhere near the back of the field shaking his head.
But why? Why has the average Pecco turned into the dog shit Pecco? We at MGPNews.com find out…
Data
Last season Jorge ‘Mr Glass’ Martin complained that Baggers was bagging his race data. Martin, who cannot sneeze in fear of rib breakage, claimed that the Italian would copy his data from the sprint race and use it against him on the Sunday. The results did tend to suggest this but we all thought Jorge was probably just getting an unprovable excuse ready in case he lost the title. But maybe the brittle world champion was actually on to something?
This season all Pecco has to go on is Marc Marquez’s data – which is like trying to read a PDF document in notepad.
With no real data to steal the Italian has just been left standing still whereas everyone else is moving forward giving the impression he’s getting shitter.
Keeps thinking he’s found something
At the end of just about every humiliating race a perky Pecco chirps up to tell us he ‘found something’ during the race with his bike set up. He then loses that ‘something’ down the back of the sofa before the next race weekend.
Maybe there isn’t something to find? And the more he looks the further away it becomes? And if that’s too deep how about this: he’s the problem not the bike.
Sister
Being overly friendly with your sister is a great tactic if you’re from Norfolk but less so in MotoGP. Just look at Miguel Oliveria’s performance after he married his.
Bagnaia’s sister, Carola, is always at every race beside her brother. But rumours are circulating that, having suffered through Pecco’s recent results, Carola is thinking of expanding the Bagnaia gene pool by dating another rider in the paddock.
Who? We’re not sure. But such family backstabbery could be compounding Bagnaia’s misery and making him more turd with each race.
Back on the sauce
If there’s one thing we know Bagnaia’s good at it’s not being too steady controlling vehicles whilst drunk. Back then in Ibiza the Italian was celebrating a race win with buckets of champagne – life was good! (Unless you were a Spanish pedestrian)
With those days long gone maybe Pecco’s turned back to the sauce to help him relive those times when people actually thought he was good? It would explain why he’s now so wobbly. And why he orders a donner kebab with extra chillies at the end of every session.
Here at MGPNews.com we’re no doctors but drinking your way out of a problem seems like it would always work.
Head’s gone
In Australian Rules Football, 18 feral Aussies hurl a sherbet egg across a vast oval, igniting non-stop brawls like rabid kangaroos in a pub-BBQ rumble. It’s part-sport part-punch-up. However in 1985 the frustrated Australian Football player John Bourke took it one-step further in a game by fighting the rival team players, the umpire, some of his own players before finally jumping into the stands to punch a fan in his mullet. A great day for all.
And this is how Australians deal with their frustrations – whether it’s at work, at sport or with their Sheila. Italians on the other hand don’t.
Pecco’s not likely to ‘get it out of his system’ by brawling it out with Luigi Dall’Igna behind the bins to get over the fact he’s being beaten by his teammate. Instead the sensitive Italian is far more likely to meditate and use zen (whatever that is) – which is utter rubbish.
The outcome is that Bagnaia is getting more and more inside his own head (which is different from how Foggy went more and more up his own arse).
Sabotage
Throw on your yellow tinfoil hats and start ranting at the screen whilst dribbling slightly from the side of your mouth. Why? Because this could all be a Dorna/Ducati conspiracy to ensure their golden son wins the world championship.
Now you may ask why would Ducati purposefully interfere with their own bike to make it worse just so Marc could win when he’s already winning. And you may ask why Dorna would make the championship less interesting. But don’t ask this. Instead just claim it’s clearly an evil inside job on social media and use that as your coping strategy.
