Winners
Aprilia: Dare we dream?
It’s not that we want Ducati to fail…well maybe it actually is, but more than anything MotoGP fans deserve at least one other manufacturer capable of regularly winning. And we at MGPNews couldn’t wish for a better choice than Aprilia. Why? Because their bike looks like the lovechild of a Cessna 172 and the SS Enterprise that fell asleep in a steaming vat of carbon fibre. Also it’s not a Ducati. Which really helps.
One talked about aspect of Aprilia’s GP machine is the secondary forward airduct that apparently channels high pressure air vortexes through the fairing and into Marco Bezzechhi’s helmet to stop him making hot-headed decisions.
Aprilia’s were everywhere in Thailand swarming the top of the timesheets and the podium positions like wasps around Uccio’s waste bin. Better still it wasn’t just the factory team but beautiful looking Gulf bikes too – led by the not-so-beautiful appearance of Resting-Bitch-Face-Raul (RBFR).
But could this be the abnormal normality? The worry for Aprilia (and 99% of the viewing population) is that maybe the Italian rocketship suited the unique harder tyres used in Thailand and that Ducati (who of course we have nothing against) may dominate once again.
The yellow brigade
The irate yellow keyboard warriors had little to cheer about last season. Their nemesis, Marc Marquez, was an unstoppable force of brilliance until Bez broke the Spaniard’s arm off under VR46 Neverland Ranch team orders. However by that time most of the yellow ‘fans’ had stopped watching claiming that ‘the racing is boring these days’ and ‘it’s all about the bike not the rider’…whilst the most seriously affected had ended it all in a tub of rich passata.
But now the ones that are still with us are suddenly all back! Horrah! Why? Well we may be only one race into the season but things are looking verrrrrrrrrrrry different.
In the sprint race the Spanish antichrist was ordered to ‘drop a place’ after legally overtaking the race leader Pedro Acosta on the penultimate lap. Race direction ‘conveniently’ and skilfully left this decision long enough so as not to allow Marc enough time to repass the young stoat and claim victory.
Come Sunday and a host of main-race shenanigans for the two despised Marquez brothers and a win for an Italian on an Italian bike left Team-Yellow cheering in the streets once again proclaiming that MotoGP is the best sport in the world…for now at least.
Joan Mir
Wikipedia claims that Joan Mir was once the MotoGP world champion. We’re fairly sure that never happened but we do know that the hot-mothered Spaniard has clocked up the most air miles of any rider over the past few years.
But is 2026 the season the scar tissue regeneration procedure goes into decline? Probably not. But, for the sake of Joan’s later life, let’s all hope so.
Pedro Acosta
The mullet-harbouring stoat came to Thailand looking meaner than ever…and every bit as ugly.
With a 2027 Ducati contract said to be safely stored his underground nest the mighty mustelid pushed his KTM way beyond what anyone dared to believe…much to the pain of the now silent South Africans. A sprint race win and a second place in the main event means Pedro has weaselled his way to the top of the championship – which is the first time ever in MotoGP for KTM.
A brilliant weekend that could allow the Austrian manufacturer to stay afloat for an extra week.
Losers
Jorge Martin’s management team
We’re not sure if Mr Glass’ management team should actually be in the ‘winners’ section as there’s a very real chance they absolutely hate their client. Surely even stupidity wouldn’t cover the following list of tactical blunders:
- Rage quit from the best manufacturer on the grid
- Quit Aprilia without riding the bike
- Un-quit Aprilia when threatened
- Actually quit Aprilia for the current worst manufacturer before the season starts without actually seeing the potential of the Aprilia.
But who really cares? Martin’s lack of respect has made him less popular than a nazi mosquito and seeing Aprilia’s upward trajectory has given us all a reason to smile.
Family Marquez
Sadly for the residents of the Marquez family hometown the bells didn’t toll for success and not even one donkey was dropped from a watch tower in celebration. 2025 was an extraordinarily successful MotoGP season for the Antichrist and his baby brother meaning 2026 would be an almost impossible act to follow.
However team-Marquez were probably hoping for a tad more favourable weekend in Thailand than what they got. The sprint race was average but in the main race Marc kerbed his alloys causing a puncture which then caused Alex to crash in the same spot whilst trying to see what had happened.
A blip or a sign of things to come? How would we know? But Spanish donkeys may be feeling a faction happier.
Pecco Bagnaia
The two-time devalued world champion had a 2025 season that was rougher than a badger’s arse. So rough, in fact, that Ducati effectively pre-sacked him before the season had begun. So much for “taking the fight to Marquez to prove I’m the best”.
Luckily for Baggers this year would be different. The 2025 bike just didn’t suit his particular style of having a performance advantage over everyone else but this year’s factory Ducati looked pre-season like being perfect again for the beard-shod Italian.
Only it wasn’t and poor Pecco was rubbish. Again.
Yamaha
Blimey. Get used to seeing this manufacturer on the list…
