If Honda’s bikes finish well in the final round of the MotoGP season in Valencia, they could be bumped up from Group D to Group C and lose a ton of the concessions that they’ve been using to improve their bike. Will they take a dive to stay in Group D? Let’s investigate!
What’s all this Group nonsense?
MotoGP Manufacturers are arranged into 4 groups based on performance. The more appallingly crap they are, the more bike development and testing concessions they are awarded. They range from Group A (Awesome) to Group D (Dumbasses). Ducati are the only Group A team, rifling through the teacher’s desk for the exam questions, and they’re so dominant that there’s nobody in Group B. Aprilia and KTM are sitting at the back of the classroom trying to light their farts in Group C. This leaves Honda and Yamaha currently riding the short bus to the remedial class of Group Dunce.
So what’s the issue at Valencia?
Honda’s bikes have improved dramatically over the last 2 years. The RC213V has gone from the bike that was aggressively trying to re-re-re-re-snap Marc Marquez’s arm to an occasional podium contender. If the Hondas perform well in the last round, they’ll automatically be bumped up to Group C. This would mean Honda lose loads of concessions. They won’t be able to mess with their engines, they’ll have far fewer tyres available for testing, and their factory riders will be restricted to official tests.
That would suck!
Exactly! That’s why the smart thing to do is obviously to deliberately take a dive to make sure they don’t score any points in Valencia and keep their Group D status.
You have to admit that it would be very un-Japanese, though.
That’s the problem with Honda, they’re far too Japanese. If an Italian team was in this situation, they’d take a dive without batting an eyelid. The Japanese teams are already hiring Italians to help them “understand” the rules better, but they need to go further. After all, in Japan the concept of honour is the basis of their entire society, and losing it means public disgrace and ritual suicide. In Italy, being a “Man of Honour” means that you’re part of an elite group of thieving murderers.
Are they already taking a dive?
It’s possible. Marini, who never falls off, has started falling off all of a sudden. And Joan Mir, who always falls off, could barely complete a lap of Portimão without his bike exploding.
Zarco did pretty well, though.
They probably just assumed he’d be as crap at Portimão as he has been for the last several months, so they forgot to nobble his bike.
Is there any advantage to being promoted to Group C?
Yes, a couple. Firstly it would utterly humiliate Yamaha, which is one of Honda’s main goals. Being the only Group D team, with a complete turd of a V4, would make Yamaha look like complete imbeciles and have Honda executives murdering “Simply The Best” every weekend at the karaoke bar. Secondly, Luca Marini has been complaining that he’s sick of all the testing that Group D riders have to do all the time, and would love to be sunning himself on the beach of Group C.
So will Honda do the dishonourable thing at Valencia?
They might not have to. If Joan Mir’s bike holds together long enough, he’ll probably crash. Marini will probably be slow, and Zarco tends to follow a good result with a bad one to keep his moody French universe in balance. Look out for more mystery clutch problems to see if HRC have put their thumb on the scale to take their riders out of the equation.
How do you type that doodly thing over the a in Portimão?
I dunno, the bloody autocorrect just decided to make itself useful for a change.
