Copy everything, change nothing
Pecco Bananas is having a major MotoGP crisis. His championship hopes are disappearing faster than the Epstein Client List, and his points gap to Marc Marquez is ballooning faster than Jennifer Love Hewitt’s backside. He’s being slapped silly on an identical bike by his beloved yellowmongering mentor’s Spanish Nemesis. When you’re in this much trouble,…
The apparatchiks of the EUSSR have meekly surrendered to the USA yet again and allowed an American takeover of MotoGP. But what does that mean for us fans? Let’s investigate the changes that the new Yank owners are likely to introduce to the elite motorcycle racing championship. Make America Great Again It’s a disgrace that…
Valentino Rossi used to be one of the hottest sporting stars in the world, but is the Goatest Of All Time grazing on a downward slope? Will his favourite colour soon pass unlamented into history? Let’s examine the evidence: Q: What’s Valentino Rossi up to these days? A: He’s a World Endurance Championship car…
MGPNews can exclusively bring you the transcript of Jorge Martin talking to the British and Irish press for the first time about his Aprilia Assassination. Press Officer: Let’s start with a question from Crunch dot com Crunch: Jorge, your INSANE decision to leave Aprilia has LITERALLY dropped an actual THERMONUCLEAR BOMB on the MotoGP…
It can’t have escaped your attention that Marc Marquez has been all over the place lately. Every weekend, he starts off looking dominant then either wins or crashes for no apparent reason. Quantum Physics is the study of sub-atomic particles. Technically, only Dani Pedrosa is subatomic, but with Danilo Petrucci’s departure, most of the MotoGP…
It’s been said that history doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme. When MotoGP visited the Circuit of the Americas, history’s breakfast repeated itself as Marc Marquez caused utter chaos and totally got away with it. Let’s analyse what happened using a series of rhyming headings: Sheeting Rain turned the Texan tarmac into a skating…
The Thai MotoGP from Buriram brought us a mixture of surprises and total lack of surprises. The word “Gulf” featured prominently, so lets classify the winners and losers based on their similarities to various gulfs of the world. Gulf of America The world’s newest gulf didn’t even exist until a few weeks ago. Since then,…
Is the Thailand MotoGP round going to suck? If so, how badly? Let’s find out in this exclusive preview! Ducati The Bolognese factory didn’t even need to upgrade their machinery, as the GP24 already laps faster than a Valentino Rossi fan telling you about The Doctor’s favourite colour. Spanish Antichrist Marc Marquez should romp home…
MGPN can exclusively reveal that Ducati are about to launch a new range of lawnmowers powered by the Ducati GP25 engine. We caught up with our secret Ducati source to find out what’s going on in the Bolognese grass-care department. Q: What’s the story? Why is Ducati launching a range of lawnmowers? A: Well,…
Is KTM being flushed down the bog? Or can somebody roll up one sleeve and fish them back out of the U-bend like Ewan MacGregor in Trainspotting? Let’s investigate what’s going on with the Austrian brand. – What’s happened? The owners of KTM started acting like the people who buy their bikes. The management…