Copy everything, change nothing
Last week, in the worst kept MotoGP secret since Max Biaggi’s wig, Toprak Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku signed with the Primark Yamaha team for 2026. Within hours of the announcement every MotoGP chump on the internet was a Razgatlweroğjsadfhsaj34iku expert and thus spouted their two-bit theories and extensive knowledge on the Turkish star. But what if you wanted…
The Marq Marquez Award Marq Marquez is annoyingly good at Aragon. So much so that Italy didn’t even watch this year. Due to a crazy combination of diplopia in his right eye and his left shoulder being reattached at the wrong angle the grinning Spaniard always ‘hangs left’. He can’t help it. If Marc tries…
Who’s Nico Rosberg? Rosberg is a German ex-F1 driver most famous for winning the 2016 F1 world title then quitting the sport the very next day. He’s also the son of the Finnish ex-F1 driver Keke Rosberg who was one of the few drivers from that era of the sport that wasn’t hideously killed at…
Jorge Martin has released a sleazy statement confirming that he will indeed be leaving Aprilia at the end of the season thanks to a clever contractual loophole. The statement is a masterclass in saying a whole lot of nothing while trying to sound like a reasonable, upstanding guy. Read statement here But what was said,…
It doesn’t take much to get the tear-soaked Marquez haters into an internet rage. So what would happen if something really controversial happened? We found out at Silverstone…and it was utterly shocking! Both Antichrist Marc and his understudy brother Alex fell off on the opening laps of the Silverstone race to the mass cheers of…
British food – is it really that bad? Yes. But at least it’s not Polish. So in honour of our Island’s amazing cuisine we at MGPN have highlighted some of the highlights and explained which MotoGP riders would benefit from shovelling a portion down their pie-hole. Full English Breakfast A hearty breakfast featuring bacon,…
The Accordion Award If asthma was an instrument, it would be the accordion. The squeezable trainwreck of wheezes is the musical lovechild of a raccoon and a bagpipe that gatecrashes every café in France with unhinged glee. Oddly France adores this thing like its baguette-scented poetry. And what could be more French than a one-man…
Brittle reigning MotoGP champion Jorge Martin has pulled the ultimate “get out of jail free” card thanks to a contract clause letting him ‘do a runner’ if he’s not a MotoGP hotshot by the French GP. With the putrid smell of garlic now over the Spanish rider has chosen to ditch his team given he…
In a move that screams ‘we’re trying to look fair but didn’t think this through’, MotoGP has announced a new rule for 2025: riders who miss three or more Grand Prix races due to injury can now have a single day of testing to ‘get back up to speed.’ And nothing says ‘rehabilitation’ like a…
The Dropped Donkey Award All great Spanish fiestas include lobbing an unsuspecting donkey off a watchtower to the cheers of the none-vegan locals. But fear not – the cruel and barbaric tradition isn’t a waste! Once the splattered equine innards have been sufficiently picked over by the regional crows the remains are scraped up and…