In MotoGP the intrusive post-race interview is a sacred ritual—a masterclass in saying absolutely nothing while sounding vaguely profound. It’s a performance as choreographed as a ballet, yet as predictable as Uccio’s cholesterol warning.
But what’s the formula? How do MotoGP riders say so much without saying anything? Here at MGPNews.com we’ve broken down the post-race interview to explain what’s actually been said…and not being said.
Step one: Thank the team.
Quote: “First, I want to thank my team, they did an incredible job”
This helps the mechanics feel like they’re part of the team. They’re not and can be replaced in a flash without anyone really daring to speak up – a bit like Saddam Hussein’s 1979 public government purge.
This line is non-negotiable—it’s in the rider’s contract, right next to “wear the sponsor cap at all angles.” However it can also be followed by a sly dig that the bike’s setup was “not quite there” (a phrase used so often it deserves its own trademark).
Step two: describe the race in terms so vague they could apply to a Sunday ride or a nuclear standoff.
Quote: “It was a tough race, you know, we struggled a bit with the pace, but we gave 100%.”
This means the rider had no idea what happened but was contractually obligated to sound like he tried. Furthermore if he finished in the points, he’ll add, “We maximized what we had” whereas if he crashed, it’s, “we had the potential, but we’ll learn from this.”
Either way, we’re reaching halfway through the interview and not a single concrete detail has been shared.
Step three: Blame the intangibles.
Quote: “The bike? Not perfect, but we’re working on it.”
Quote: “The tyres? They dropped off a bit.”
Quote: “The weather? Tricky conditions.”
MotoGP riders must never, ever point a finger at something specific—say, a dodgy suspension setting or having Morbidelli as your teammate. That’s a one-way ticket to a team principal’s death glare. Instead, riders must gingerly lean on phrases like “we need to analyse the data,” which sounds technical but really means “I’ll let the engineers figure out why I was two seconds off the pace.”
Step four: Praise the competition.
Quote: “The guys at the front were just too strong today”
Riders must say this in a way that makes them seem shocked that Marquez didn’t roll over and let him waltz to victory. The real reasoning however is pure diplomacy, ensuring no aggressive rival takes offense and targets him in the next sprint race’s turn 1 chaos.
Step five: Look forward.
Quote: “We’ll come back stronger in [insert next circuit here].”
Every good interview ends with a nod to the next race: It’s the MotoGP equivalent of “thoughts and prayers”—hopeful, meaningless, and guaranteed to keep the sponsors happy.
And that’s our plucky rider’s interview done filling five minutes of airtime whilst answering zero questions and leaving the fans none the wiser. The interviewer nods sagely, the crowd claps, and the broadcast cuts to a slow-motion replay of a crash that was “unfortunate but part of racing.”
