For the record-breaking crowd that turned up at Mugello the weekend would prove to be tougher than their grandfather’s undercarriage cartilage. Even the local legend himself, Valentino Rossi, had ventured out of his Neverland Ranch expecting to witness a Bagnaia victory and then to laugh on camera at the defeated Marquez brothers…who he secretly hoped would get injured.
But like a Fiat M11/39 it all looked good but went backwards. Instead we saw yet another family Antichrist 1-2 and poor Pecco fold faster than Superman on laundry day.
The combined grief of the crowd was unmistakable with enough salt dripping down the Tuscany hills to render the dead sea nonsaline.
There are five stages of grief – denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. So we at MGPNews thought it would be amusing to speak to five different spectators at Mugello stuck in differing stages.
Stage 1: Denial
“I left before the end of the MotoGP race so I could grab a gelato and get home to taste my Noona’s fine cooking – I was hoping for something in a ‘rich tomato sauce’ like every other single Italian meal.
I have no idea what the result was but when I left Franco had just shown his VR46 Academy skill by passing some Spaniard who probably fell off in awe. So I’m guessing that Morbidelli worked his way up to the podium to join Pecco on the top step – it’s so predictable that that’s what happened that I have no desire to ever look up the actual result.”
Salvatore Slippalini
Stage 2: Anger
“I am very, very angry with Davide Tardozzi. So much so that my arms are now aching from continuously waving them around theatrically in the air and yelling “Mamma Mia” – if that doesn’t prove my anger I don’t know what does.
How dare he [Tardozzi] tell us to stop booing the devil that he brought into our home to hump Mother Mary Bagnaia? He’s a snake and should use more black hair dye like the rest of us.”
Carmine Floppado
Stage 3: Bargaining
“As a standard greasy Italian who lives with his mother despite being in my 40s I think we should appeal to Alex to race his brother.
Pecco can’t beat Marc due to Marc’s cheating – but Alex can as he’s from the same cheating family. But Alex is too scared to race Marc in case his dad yells at him again.
We should trick Alex into actually racing Marc promising him lots of donkeys and stuff if he beats him and knocks him off. Then when Marc is out badly injured Ducati can turn down Alex’s bike performance so Pecco can win the title – proving cheats don’t win.”
Giuseppe Fizzapoppi
Stage 4: Depression
“I don’t care anymore. I have watched MotoGP all my life from when I first jumped on the yellow bandwagon of Vale winning. Back then MotoGP was great. But not now. Now there seems little point continuing – I may as well just hang up my gnocchi board, tie the spaghetti around my neck and wait for my soul to transition.
MotoGP for me is not about the winning – it’s about lording it up when an Italian wins and acting like somehow I was part responsible for the victory. With that gone I feel like an Alfa Romeo without a warranty – gorgeous to look at but a pile of cacca internally.”
Marco Pizzazzoni
Stage 5: Acceptance
“I really don’t care that Marc won. Or that he’ll probably surpass Vale’s victory records and MotoGP titles. The bottom line is he’ll never be as popular as Rossi – and that’s what really counts. It’s a popularity contest at the end of the day.
Everyone knew that as soon as Vale left MotoGP the sport would fade away – and each of my oily countrymen in the record-breaking crowd at Mugello this weekend agreed with me.”
Giovanni Chucklissimo
